Bloody Trains
Literally.
Last Friday I was grumbling and complaining to Clipper at the train station, our usual tirade of how the trains are shite and why on Earth is this one late? It finally arrives and we board, complaining to each other about how there are no fucking seats and how life is hard because we have to stand up for ten minutes before the train is empty enough to sit down. I overhear the conductor explaining to someone about the lateness.
There's been a suicide by train further down the line.
I, to this day still, have no idea if it's a boy or girl, old or young, but I really start wondering about it. These things happen all the time, especially in Scotland, this is the third which I have heard about on this same trainline in the past couple of years, but this one really starts playing on my mind. I mean, what a way to go. No options left but to stand in front of the Oban Express and get battered half a mile up the track?
Jesus Christ.
That could just as easily have been me, my brother, you, your mum, your best mate that you've known since you were seven. How easy is it to break someone so hard that they feel the need to do something like that? I'm seriously upset about it.
For a while I was panicking that it actually was my brother, who works up near that neck of the woods. I started thinking things like "Oh my God, maybe I should have made him breakfast this morning. Maybe I shouldn't have called him a cunt last week." etc etc. This, obviously, was pretty daft and my brother was just fine.
But out there, maybe making dinner for him, some mum could very well have been panicking, telling herself that she was just being silly and that Tom would be back in time, just as usual, only for it to not quite happen that way.
I totally don't understand. Like, people get killed every day, they get blown up and shot and stabbed and fall out of windows and choke to death on their trousers and they have heart attacks at 14 and, while I care to a degree, I'm usually rather apathetic towards it all, whereas now I'm genuinely broken hearted.
This is all long and rambly pambly, I hope it makes sense. I'm totally devastated by it, even though it has nothing to do with me and worse things happen every day.
There's no clever ending here, it really doesn't deserve one, but does anyone have any thoughts on this? Has anyone felt anything similar on something maybe even completely unrelated?
Last Friday I was grumbling and complaining to Clipper at the train station, our usual tirade of how the trains are shite and why on Earth is this one late? It finally arrives and we board, complaining to each other about how there are no fucking seats and how life is hard because we have to stand up for ten minutes before the train is empty enough to sit down. I overhear the conductor explaining to someone about the lateness.
There's been a suicide by train further down the line.
I, to this day still, have no idea if it's a boy or girl, old or young, but I really start wondering about it. These things happen all the time, especially in Scotland, this is the third which I have heard about on this same trainline in the past couple of years, but this one really starts playing on my mind. I mean, what a way to go. No options left but to stand in front of the Oban Express and get battered half a mile up the track?
Jesus Christ.
That could just as easily have been me, my brother, you, your mum, your best mate that you've known since you were seven. How easy is it to break someone so hard that they feel the need to do something like that? I'm seriously upset about it.
For a while I was panicking that it actually was my brother, who works up near that neck of the woods. I started thinking things like "Oh my God, maybe I should have made him breakfast this morning. Maybe I shouldn't have called him a cunt last week." etc etc. This, obviously, was pretty daft and my brother was just fine.
But out there, maybe making dinner for him, some mum could very well have been panicking, telling herself that she was just being silly and that Tom would be back in time, just as usual, only for it to not quite happen that way.
I totally don't understand. Like, people get killed every day, they get blown up and shot and stabbed and fall out of windows and choke to death on their trousers and they have heart attacks at 14 and, while I care to a degree, I'm usually rather apathetic towards it all, whereas now I'm genuinely broken hearted.
This is all long and rambly pambly, I hope it makes sense. I'm totally devastated by it, even though it has nothing to do with me and worse things happen every day.
There's no clever ending here, it really doesn't deserve one, but does anyone have any thoughts on this? Has anyone felt anything similar on something maybe even completely unrelated?
posted by Starke at
10:24 am
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