My dad, Xena, some hands and an almost-fanny.

First off, be careful, a lot of my links are seriously not safe for work. Though you should have no worries, as you're not a skiving bastard, are you?

My dad, what a fucking nutter.






















This was the after-party of Bukkake-fest Brighton 2003. That's not a love-heart they're doing with their hands, nor, sadly, is it a Triforce.

It's a makeshift glory-hole, and, take it from me, they regretted doing that after a few hours.

















I know this girl from somewhere. Apparently it's Lucy Lawless (Xena, to all you channel Five prime-time marathon wankers) but there's no way she's still that hot.






















I paid this girl's friend £100 quid to get the job done, I paid the photographer £150 to be there at the right moment and all I get is this shitty image and an eternity of wanking?

Utter bollocks.