Micro my cock!

I've been musing over this for a little while, pondering whether or not it's worthy of a blog.

So, without further ado, ahem...

WHEN YOU BUY INCREMENTAL THINGS FROM XBLA OR OTHER SUCH PLACES IT IS NOT A "MICRO" TRANSACTION, IT'S JUST A FUCKING TRANSACTION. YOU'RE BEING DUPED BY LANGUAGE INTO THINKING THAT IT'S INSIGNIFICANT.

Seriously folks, come on! You're paying for things that, as one UK:R commentor noted, would have been included in the full game a couple of years ago.

You're being raped through the nose and you're fucking lapping it up, your spunk-washed brain malfunctioning into believing that 800 points doesn't count as real world money.

Get a grip and stop getting shafted, seize the corporate cock with both hands and snap it over your knee.

Jesus Christ, people, we all complain about the state of the industry and yet we're all to scared to do something about it. Grow a pair of balls already.

Ham and Sauce!

My dad, Xena, some hands and an almost-fanny.

First off, be careful, a lot of my links are seriously not safe for work. Though you should have no worries, as you're not a skiving bastard, are you?

My dad, what a fucking nutter.






















This was the after-party of Bukkake-fest Brighton 2003. That's not a love-heart they're doing with their hands, nor, sadly, is it a Triforce.

It's a makeshift glory-hole, and, take it from me, they regretted doing that after a few hours.

















I know this girl from somewhere. Apparently it's Lucy Lawless (Xena, to all you channel Five prime-time marathon wankers) but there's no way she's still that hot.






















I paid this girl's friend £100 quid to get the job done, I paid the photographer £150 to be there at the right moment and all I get is this shitty image and an eternity of wanking?

Utter bollocks.

Yass! Get it right up ye, ya cunts!

We're top of Google's hits for "one clever ape"




















HOWEVER! THIS IS WHY WE HATE THAT CUNT GERVAIS





















Don't settle for this, burn his fucking website down, my friends, burn it and roast his fat, smug expression over the flames of what he'll never truly be.

One Clever Ape!

Girls I have totally baggsied.

This girl has a bit of a horsey face, but she has pink hair and is pretending to be innocent, so she'd well get it.





















This girl is hiding underneath her black and white hair, probably hiding from another cockslapping.






















These girls are seriously proper dirty, I can only imagine that the licker is licking crystallized spunk from the one with the astonishing tits.

















This one has a touch of class about her, as if to say "Not the cunt, unload it on my face."









Alizee is MY Lolita

















Those lollies could easily be cocks. Those girls could easily be bukkake victims.

















This one has a ridiculously amazing rack. Her eyes beg to be sealed shut with my seed.




















And finally, this one is pretty ugly but you can tell she's dying for a good massaging her own nipples.





















Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off for a stonker of a wank

Kara-on singing.

Does anyone know what the hell this means?

It's cute and scary at the same time.

Tingle probably already has this somewhere, but I plead ignorance!

Touching

Now, I'm not a propaganda kinda guy, but I liked this picture.

Despite all the bullshit, there's still a little humanity out there.

Bloody Trains

Literally.

Last Friday I was grumbling and complaining to Clipper at the train station, our usual tirade of how the trains are shite and why on Earth is this one late? It finally arrives and we board, complaining to each other about how there are no fucking seats and how life is hard because we have to stand up for ten minutes before the train is empty enough to sit down. I overhear the conductor explaining to someone about the lateness.

There's been a suicide by train further down the line.

I, to this day still, have no idea if it's a boy or girl, old or young, but I really start wondering about it. These things happen all the time, especially in Scotland, this is the third which I have heard about on this same trainline in the past couple of years, but this one really starts playing on my mind. I mean, what a way to go. No options left but to stand in front of the Oban Express and get battered half a mile up the track?

Jesus Christ.

That could just as easily have been me, my brother, you, your mum, your best mate that you've known since you were seven. How easy is it to break someone so hard that they feel the need to do something like that? I'm seriously upset about it.

For a while I was panicking that it actually was my brother, who works up near that neck of the woods. I started thinking things like "Oh my God, maybe I should have made him breakfast this morning. Maybe I shouldn't have called him a cunt last week." etc etc. This, obviously, was pretty daft and my brother was just fine.

But out there, maybe making dinner for him, some mum could very well have been panicking, telling herself that she was just being silly and that Tom would be back in time, just as usual, only for it to not quite happen that way.

I totally don't understand. Like, people get killed every day, they get blown up and shot and stabbed and fall out of windows and choke to death on their trousers and they have heart attacks at 14 and, while I care to a degree, I'm usually rather apathetic towards it all, whereas now I'm genuinely broken hearted.

This is all long and rambly pambly, I hope it makes sense. I'm totally devastated by it, even though it has nothing to do with me and worse things happen every day.

There's no clever ending here, it really doesn't deserve one, but does anyone have any thoughts on this? Has anyone felt anything similar on something maybe even completely unrelated?